101 Love Letters: 4. Heart

To love every experience. Even the challenges. Even the pain.

To love the invitation it offers – to grow.

To dig deeper into one’s capacity, deeper into the ancestral and past life wisdoms.

Deeper into the expansiveness of one’s heart.

Navaratri.

Numerous invitations were sent to me to attend this festival, this gathering time, this sacred event, of which I still know very little about. Bits and pieces grabbed me from what I read – an invitation to overcome temptations and the slaying of the multi-headed monster, through the heart, rather than the head, as new heads appear.

I’ve been realising more lately, my weakness lies in my mind.

My mind is a little weedy.

I’ve not tamed it quite enough.

There are times it convinces me that it knows which way is best.

Usually it leads me to be less than I am. The smaller version.

The more fearful version.

This is one of the reasons I find spiritual practices so useful – as my mind is tamed somewhat by the practices. The mind is busy learning the 88 mantra, the slow version, then the fast version, of the Da Bei Zhou. Or it is busy opening the 3rd eye and seeing what’s going on inside my body, or in ‘heaven’.

And whilst my mind is busy, my soul and heart can take the lead... guide my mind, rather than be led by it.

It’s of course, not just ‘keeping the mind busy’ that the spiritual practices offer... they are so much more.

What I’m realising is that each challenge in life can either lead us further away from our spiritual selves, or our ‘heaven’s teams’ or our ‘soul’... or it can lead us closer, help us merge heaven and earth within the challenge. It can be the key to solving the challenge.

I was invited, twice, to a gathering, to unpack and share, in a held space, the effect that 2020 and all that came with that, had on our lives. Things came up both times, to (conveniently?) lead me to not attend.

‘I’m not sure I want or need to focus on that stuff anyway’ I told myself.

Yet I’ve realised since then, that I do need that.

Or at least I’d value that (should I be so lucky to be invited again).

Because it would be a good way to remind myself just how far I’ve come from the very low vibration that was me in the midst of 2020.

I’ve had two fabulous, amazing women, very spiritual, share with me that since 2020, their connection to their most spiritual, creative self, has been thwarted somewhat. Was it the global collective fear that shut it down, or was something else? We are all pondering.

What seems clear to me, is that suicidal moments were not uncommon during that time, for many that normally wouldn’t think of that.

And it wasn’t because we were told not to see anyone – for we were comfortable in our company. This was something else.

Some people got fixated on the news and grew immense fear of Covid or the ‘unvaccinated’ and others got fixated on the alternative media streams and grew immense fear of being incarcerated for not following the narrative, or ‘shedding from the vaccinated’.

Divide and conquer was attempted.

But did not (completely) succeed.

Many in families just got used to keeping their opinions to themselves and got along with loving each other regardless. Sometimes the disappointed is felt both ways and sadness follows, many broken relationships... and so much more.

Those that felt they could ‘see’ what was going on ‘behind the scenes’ were voicing it and being shunned, abused, and so much more... and the lies and games that politicians, the police, doctors, and more, acted out, has yet to be aired and who has come back to us and said ‘We were wrong. We are sorry’?

But does it matter?

My heart is telling me that what matters is that we all return to love. In this moment. In the next moment. Love. Forgiveness. Love again. And Courage. To be able to speak one’s truth at the right time when it really counts. To call on our ‘heaven’s teams’ to assist. To lean more into our soul, to find the answers.

We have been given an opportunity to grow so much at this time.

I keep coming back to my spiritual practice as the foundation of my life.

Keeping the daily tasks done, practicing them as a sacred act, with love.

And gratitude.

And bringing compassion back to myself when I sink into my old ways of laziness, distractedness, procrastination, fear and confusion. When I go back to my drug of choice – sugar and chocolate... I’m invited to respond to myself with compassion. Again. And again.

Sometimes I feel so much gratitude for the simple moments of life. For noticing that what brings me inner joy, makes my heart sings, can be as simple as hanging out the washing, being grateful for the colours and textures and the way the wind moves them and sun dries them. Grateful for the warmth from the sun through my bones. For the whole morning in the garden, weeding, tidying, transplanting, watering, seed collecting.

And for kirtan. And for the little community I am now a part of who sing kirtan.

And for my very special connection to Krishna.

And Kuan Yin.

And the community that comes with Master Sha...

The fact that every day I drink water all day (which I drink as herbal tea) that is blessed by him.

That I can offer soul readings and blessings to assist people in my life, or who I cross paths with.

Well that was a big digression – I was speaking of Navaratri and the mind.

The slaying of the heads not working – that it can only be accomplished in the heart.

I attended an online Navaratri for only a few of the many nights that it was offered but the meditation that was offered at the end of the hour of chanting, was extraordinary.

I was led into the ‘room’ that was my heart space... and invited to see the walls, floor and ceiling and see what was in there. I was invited to also see the flame in the centre and notice it expanding through my body and beyond.

Moments like this are life changing.

Such a random event... not part of my usual practice... and yet that guided visualisation opened up my internal relationship with my heart like never before and I feel changed by it.

More and more I am realising that, despite the cliché, the heart really is the key to this planet ‘winning’ this war... and it is a war. But one that we can only win internally. Through the heart.