101 Love Letters: 1 Freedom

Freedom. What is it? What does that word mean? What does it feel like?

It has many extra meanings since 2020.

For me, it means, an inner state of being close with my soul.

It’s a feeling of lightness.

Of not being burdened with the weight of worries, fears and out of reach yearnings.

Yet it also feels like a flow between an idea and action, or a feeling and its corresponding movement of my body.

It feels like laughter, uncontrollable and gleeful, child-like really.

And dancing, the unleashed-from-gravity type of dancing, when my body just flies through the air and twirls and glides, rolls along the floor. Or simply leans against a wall in perfect melancholic rest.

Freedom is also the impetus to serve the community and the follow through with that, without the things that tend to block me: ‘red tape’.

What is freedom?

Does it exist?

Consent is linked I think.

Free to say yes and free to say no and free to change my mind halfway through.

Free to choose a cup of tea.

Free to notice the river and birds and trees.

Free to go to bed at a good time or a late time.

Free to choose to forgive.

Free to be grateful for all the joys as well as the challenges.

Free to be me.

Only I can really hold myself back from freedom. Really. I choose to move closer to freedom every day. I choose freedom. And edge towards it, like a lover I’ve been scorning. But he has been waiting for me. Patiently. To choose him. Hello Freedom. I’m yours. I choose you. I love you and thank you for loving me.